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I’d last seen him over 15 years ago. He had been my first love and our relationship consisted mainly of awkward teenage fumblings in awkward locations. We skirted each other like matador and bull until alcohol and slow music led us to stumble against each other in a clumsy reunion. We lay there and reminisced about those awkward teenage fumblings until we partook of some very awkward something fumblings. I knew he never would. Nights spent stalking the phone as a year-old had at least taught me he wasn’t the type to phone. But, it didn’t matter. This one-night stand had given me closure. My first love was no longer the boy who made my heart race like no other man had, ever since. He was just a man who slept way too close to the floor, surrounded by nylon.

The Twenty Sexiest Ugly People

And while beautiful people get sexiness for free usually, anyway — check back soon for some exceptions , ugly people have to work for it. If you’re plump, craggy, acne-scarred and irresistable, you’ve earned the hearts fluttering in your wake. We’ve laboriously assembled this list of definitively ugly people physically ugly, anyway — they’re beautiful on the inside, we’re sure , and we’re telling you we want to sample their goods.

We’re admitting that, look, the following people are not pretty, but that wouldn’t stop us. We’re going out on a limb here, people. Here are the twenty sexiest ugly people alive.

It is a good story to tell over brunch.

The Twenty Sexiest Ugly People

It also came to light that, despite her initial swagger, this was actually her first time.

The Twenty Sexiest Ugly People

Did you see that episode where the guy broke a glass over his own head?

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We started fooling around and it was okay, but a little bit awkward.

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Something felt off that I couldn’t quite pinpoint.

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But, let me back up and give a little back story.

These True Stories Of One-Night Stands Are As Juicy As They Are Unique

I didn’t want to be there.

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I knew she was inexperienced, so I opted to take things slow.

FAKE TATTOO PRANK ON MOM!